This story has some major metaphoric parallels with the way my whole summer has gone (Except for the parts of it that were good.) I'll leave you to wonder what those parallels could possibly even be! Here goes:
It happened in the park on a hot July day. I was leaning toward a public drinking fountain when a man in an inexplicable sweatsuit ran up to me shouting, “Don’t drink from that fountain! People pee in that fountain!” Then he stared at me intently. After a moment of confused silence, I said “Oh, ok.”
Next, the man said, “You know, I just saved your life by warning you about that pee fountain. Now you owe me a minute of your time to conversate with me.”
At this point I turned around and walked away quickly, because things were getting weird.
The conclusion of this story probably would’ve been more interesting if I’d stuck it out and actually conversated with that wonderful, considerate, dressed-like-it-was-winter-for-some-reason man. But now we'll never know.